Through my survival of many trials and tribulations, I, first and foremost, wholeheartedly give all praise and glory to God. Wisdom has been bestowed upon me; I must indeed now tell my story. As did Miles Davis revolutionize the sound of Jazz through his trumpet, God, too, sounded this vessel. My spirit walks to the beat of His tune, which He plays through my soul.
Here it is; once originally to be a paper publication, the first web-publishing of DiligentPaths.org has been long overdue. My hope is that this solo introduction to the wonders of web publishing will continue into the future as such. For now, as a girlfriend of mine would say, "it is what it is."
My delays stem from my healing from the traumatic and overwhelming loss of my first born son, Cedric Lamont Williams. His death was not caused by illness and/or accident; it was due to murder - the second murder of the new millennium, January 6, 2000. Per his death certificate, his immediate cause of death is listed as "Exsanguination", as well as a "Gunshot Wound to the back of the head".
Moreover, as if Cedric’s death was not enough, that same year my grandmother passed and was buried on my birthday. Yes, they are indeed gone; however, the void remains open. Although the stains of hurt continue, the most important part of my story is that I do believe in God, and I do know that God has indeed been my comfort through it all.
I shall now dedicate and share with you my thoughts and acknowledgements of very special people, who are also no longer with me or my family physically; yet, they live with me in spirit. I know and believe that I put my first-born son's body away - not his spirit. My son not only believed in me as his mother but as a person as well. The overall love we shared, as mother and son, was evoked in spirit and in our belief in God. No matter what comes my way, I shall always have those memories. I can still hear the laughter of his humorous nature. I shall never forget his last words - "Mommy hold on" - that I did as I shall continue to do.
Through it all, I will not allow his death to be in vain. He would want to know that I am happy and accomplishing all that I can.
I share with you these details of my gut-wrenching and enduring pain. I was talking on the telephone with my son, "LISTENING,"
as he was murdered. For all that I have endured, this remains to be a mind-boggling experience; yet, I survive, thriving with daily prayers. I thank God for all of you that have remained truly supportive.
I next honor my grandmother, Mother Rosie Bell Williams. She taught and instilled in me strength of spirituality. She was a very cool grandmother. She was a grandmother to many no matter the color of their skin. She loved unconditionally and compassionately; never judgmental and never wavering in her faith. The essence of her "FAITH IN GOD” and overall diligence to seek God's face is indeed the catalyst of "DILIGENT PATHS".
NEWS FLASH!!! In my eyes, never once did my grandmother portray herself as perfect. It was just the opposite for me, as one of her many granddaughters. Rest assure, we all have our stories, but this one is mine. I never really had to tell my grandmother anything. I remember her telling me that she had an "Inside line to God". Believe me, I never once questioned this.
At any rate, I plan to share more of her wonderful takes on LIFE and beliefs, as I know them. She stood by me through many heartaches and sorrows. Yet, when Cedric was murdered, it was too much for her. I can remember the day I saw her after Cedric’s death - she was in the hospital for other reasons - my uncle and aunt were there, too. I whispered in her ear, “Grandmama, I'm ok "; this reassurance was to give her peace for our many relatives, also.
I suddenly realized that God had her preparing and teaching me all that time; for what I could not imagine. I know only God could have given it to her to see my son’s death in August of 1999. Yes, she told me what God had shown her. Her words exactly: "Listen to Grandma, the Spirit says that you are as Job.” Grandma, I said to her, who is Job? She replied, “Job is in the Bible.” She spoke such beautiful words to me, yet I am directed not to share right now. The fact is those words were indeed for me. I will share this; which hopefully will touch many; her last words to me - "STAY PRAYERFUL." I am so thankful that God allowed her to be here for me, during the tragic death of my son.
Also, I am thankful for the opportunity to have known John Vincent Imbragulio, the owner of Avanti Records. During that time it was located in Pearl, Mississippi. He was renowned in the music industry. It was only a short period of time that I was able to enjoy learning from him the ever-changing business of music; as well as, how to listen to hear the music. He would have me listen to tracks. I can still hear that blaring old loud speaker right now and John Vincent asking me, "Do you hear that?"
He wanted me to learn to hear the instruments beyond the vocals. I would put my finger on my left ear and really listen. One day, after many lessons of that loud, old speaker; I prayed and asked God to give me an ear to hear the various instruments. Well, that prayer was answered. John’s words to me that day were "I knew that you would get it little lady". When I think of this, I always smile-- and can smile about John Vincent because I know that it was God that put him on the path of my journey.
Now, let me put this out to you: although, his voice roared quite often at everyone, I can say that that roar was never aimed at me. I thought to myself-- “you are one funny, really passionate, as well as, overly compassionate businessman.” I was also engaged in the business with John Vincent at that time. My experience was real and true. I greatly respected his knowledge and wisdom in the business, which fueled my drive to learn that much more.
I am closing this regarding a very dear friend to me in life, as well as, in death. John left with me a diligence to continue striving for what I desire my life to be. And, although John Vincent knew that his health was failing, he was still a determined man--a force with which to be reckoned. Through our many talks, I realized that there was always a lesson or lessons to be learned. John assisted me in finding my emotions for and of music.
He let me know that he believed in me; always smiling at every accomplishment that I ever achieved. More importantly, he always, very constructively, offered to me a firm voice of improvement. "Hey little lady you can do it"- he would say to me - always encouraging me to pursue my dreams, concerning my love for and of the music industry. "CeCe, one good lesson about a song is - that it does not take twenty minutes to hear a hit"; he stated very meekly. I am honored to have known him. He shall always remain and be an icon for his overall influence on many that knew him in the music industry. I say this based on the immeasurable knowledge he imparted to many, especially me. I do thank you, John Vincent Imbragulio.
My journey has truly been one of diligence. No matter the depth of my pains, my sorrows, and my past or present life, I continue to achieve and overcome many obstacles prematurely forced upon me. I am one of many demonstrations of the people, who have suffered a loss due to this cruel word – MURDER. I PERSONALLY DEFINE IT AS-- WHO GIVES AN INDIVIDUAL THE RIGHT TO TAKE ANOTHER PERSONS LIFE. Then I simply think about how God must feel based on the mistreatment and death of his only begotten son - Jesus.